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Posts Tagged ‘poetry’

There is a war going on
Can’t anyone see???
A battle between heart and mind
The war within me
At first I denied it
“Are you pregnant? When are you due?”
I refused to admit, even to myself
That what they were saying COULD be true
I forgot about what’s-his-name
That cold March night
How I let him come over
Just because I was tired of the fight
I told him ‘no’
“NO” he didn’t want to hear
Reluctantly I gave in
Not allowing him to smell my fear
How dumb was I
One night of unprotected sex
Now I’m battling with decisions
Choices in which are leaving me perplexed
My heart screams in JOY
While my mind is yelling FEAR
I don’t know what to do
So in solitude I release a single tear
My heart tells me it’s a BABY I can love
A BEAUTIFUL gift given
From the One above
But my mind says
It’d be SELFISH to keep it
‘You can’t fill the baby’s every need…”
This is true, I admit
But then my heart retaliates
Holding tight to love and joy
I suddenly find myself confused
Should I keep or abort this girl or boy?!?

I want any kids of mine
To have a mommy AND daddy
I want them to know WITHOUT A DOUBT
They are LOVED and always will be
I want them to learn to smile
Before they learn to frown
I want them to know that it’s Ok
If in life they ever fall down

Right now where I live
In the environment that I’m in
I tell no lies when I say
That raising a child here would be a sin
I never thought I would be in this fight
Asking myself if I’m willing to take a life
But what kind of life would this baby truly live
If he or she were to  be surrounded by strife?!?
I refuse to let another kid
Be haunted by this place
The ghosts of my past
Will not even SEE their face!

There is a war going on
Can’t anyone see???
A battle between heart and mind
It is a war within me……

:-\

©Poe, 2013

© Poet4Life/Poe
(unless otherwise noted)

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I sit here in solitude
Oh but I am not alone
For the curse of a poet
Has plagued me
Since I exited the womb
A poet’s curse
A curse I was bound by since the beginning
Such a curse states that a poet,
A writer,
Shall NEVER be left in solitude
Such a person can be the last being on this planet
But no…..
Never will they be alone
For their thoughts
Ah, yes, their thoughts
Shall forever keep them company
And the words,
The words that come more than a few
Why the poet shall be forever BlEsSeD
With an abundance of words
Never shall they suffer from a lack of
For when the day comes
(And it will for EVERY poet…)
In which they feel as though they have
No
Words
Left
The day when they feel as if
They’ve hit a poetic WaLl
This day is when the poet MUST
Put pen to paper and WrItE!!!
Because a poet never TRULY suffers from
Writers block
No…..
A poet,
A TRUE poet,
Just simply finds themselves
Overwhelmed
With too many WoRdS racing through their head
Ahhh, yes….. 
The poet’s curse…..
Since time began man has asked
*The poet’s curse……
Is it a hidden blessing…?!?
Or, rather….is it truly a curse?*
The answer to this ancient question
Lies somewhere deep inside of YOU
Within the innermost thoughts
And heart
Of a poet…..

©Poe, 2013

© Poet4Life/Poe
(unless otherwise noted)

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I ask God for His forgiveness
I ask Him to heal my heart
Each night before I go to bed
I pray each morning for a brand new start

God whispered something
Directly into my ear
“My child, you need not worry,
Dry up your falling tears.”
“Forgiveness was GUARANTEED to you
The day I hung from that cross….
And wasn’t it THEN that I PROMISED
That with ME you’d NEVER be lost….??”

I began weeping heavily
Because my pain goes to my core
Attached to me are memories
Of events that I wish not to remember anymore
I WISH it were easy
For me to just forgive & forget
Forgive those that hurt me….
And forget the images in my head!

“Father, I have a question,” I began
“The men that raped me when I was seven?”
“HOW do I go about forgiving them?
To be HONEST, I don’t want to see them in heaven… ”

“Oh, dear…. when you FORGIVE,
“You are NOT saying everything’s ‘ok’
“But rather you are freeing YOUR SOUL,
“Allowing you to see a new day…. ”
“When you forgive someone who’s hurt you,
“Someone who’s brought to your life solely rain,
“You are standing up proclaiming your STRENGTH
No longer controlled by the pain…”

“So basically,” I concluded,
“Even if I FORGIVE them… it’s  REALLY so I can be set free?!?
“So once I TRULY forgive them,
“My heart will beat solely for ME!!!”

©Poe, 2013

© Poet4Life/Poe
(unless otherwise noted)

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Sometimes I sit and wonder
Occasionally I ask ‘WHY’
Why do I even EXIST
Why does my family make me feel like I want to die?
I replay that damned phone call
Over and over in my head
So much hurt lay in the ruins
So many truths left unsaid
She told me it meant NOTHING
(She was speaking of my poetry….)
Said my life amounted to NOTHING
“But GRANDMA”, I pleaded, “my poetry MEANS something to ME…”
“My poetry is not just a ‘hobby’
“It is my way of life
Writing is how I deal
With all the joys AND the strife” 
Grandma ignored my very words and asked:
“Why do you feel like you have to WRITE?!?
“What could be SO horrible?”
Silently I admitted defeat, trying not to cry
“Forget it Grandma,” I answered
As I wipe the silent tears away
I knew I couldn’t change her mind 
There was nothing more I could say
I gave her some ‘off-the-wall’ excuse
ANYTHING to get her off the phone
My soul felt BETRAYED…. CRUSHED
All I knew is I had to be alone

I let the tears roll down my cheeks
As a million thoughts raced through my mind 
I NEVER felt so…LOW before
A little part of my spirit….
          DiEd
How could anyone…much less my GRANDMA
Be so heartless and mean?
Did she REALLY not know
That her very words stung worse than a thousand bees?
I sat for awhile trapped in my thoughts
Feelings of worthlessness took over my heart
Up until this phone call
I had found a purpose in my poetic art

Then suddenly I picked up a pen
Wiped a final tear from my eye
Although my grandma’s words hurt
I wasn’t going to allow her to completely kill me inside
So I did the only thing I knew to do
I confided in my BEST FRIEND, I poured out my heart and soul on paper because let’s face it
My poetry is the ONLY ONE that will be here in the end!

I will NEVER forget the conversation
That almost caused the poet within me to die
Because that very same conversation
Reminded THIS poet WHY she’s ALIVE!!

©Poe, 2013

☆NEVER allow ANYONE to stomp on your dreams!!! Live and love….. and LOVE what you LIVE!!!! ☆  ~Poe

© Poet4Life/Poe
(unless otherwise noted)

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I know I should be happy
Ecstatic and overjoyed
But a fear has got me choking
For what if my emotions are being toyed?
I read the email
From beginning to end
I read the damn thing
All over again
The words were right there
Laid out in front of me
‘Poe you have been NOMINATED for
‘The 2012 INTERNATIONAL WHO’S WHO OF
POETRY’
I read the details and fine print
Hell, I even GOOGLED the damn ISBN
But still I am uncertain of how to feel
An unknown fear of my very pen
For surely, I think,
They MUST HAVE the WRONG “Poe”
Are my written rhymes even WORTHY?
This answer I do not know
So many thoughts, so many doubts
Race at high speeds through my mind
I realize that, to myself,
I am being unkind
There is much to do
So much work has to be done
How do I go about picking a WINNING
Piece
When I’ve NEVER written to impress
Anyone?
I sit and ponder
Over the task at hand
And realize THIS POEM I CHOOSE
MUST be something grand
So I attempt to swallow my fears
Lord knows I try and put all stress aside
And I repeatedly tell myself
That THE BEST–POE’S BEST–is all I can and
WILL provide

© Poe, 2012

**Written after discovering this afternoon that I, Poe, has indeed been nominated to receive a spot in am upcoming publication called:  *THE 2012  INTERNATIONAL WHO’S WHO OF POETRY*!!  I’m still digesting this news and am unsure of how to “swallow” it………. I guess you can day I’m in a state of shock…..

❤ Poe

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Sooooooo…….. I get an email in my “Poe Gmail Account” today………. And I come to find out that………..

**POE HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY NOMINATED FOR THE 2012 INTERNATIONAL ~ WHO’S WHO OF POETRY!!!!!!! ~ **

😮  OMG!!!!  I’m in fucking SHOCK!!!!  😀

Now…… I have 14 (yes, FOURTEEN DAYS FROM TODAY……..) to find a poem 26 LINES OR LESS that would POSSIBLY, REMOTELY be GOOD ENOUGH to win the top prize of $1,000 AND publication!!!!!  :/  AAAAGGGGGHHH!!!!!  The heat is on, folks, cuz I don’t know WHAT POEM to submit–IF I should submit ANY!!!!!!!   😮

Anyways, yea…… I just HAD to come let you all know…….. (and for all you HATERS out there…… Tyvm but I DID check out out & it IS LEGIT!!!!  😛  SO THERE!!!  Lol)

© Poe / Baby Bird

Read more Poe @:
http://www.facebook.com/poet4life1
😉

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POE is PUBLISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!! =}

Check out this AWESOME book full of amazing poets INCLUDING yours truly!!! =}

I have several poems in this book, starting on page 263! Look me up, “poet4life aka Poe”!!!!!!! =} yay!

THE SURVIVOR’S GUIDE TO BEDLAM
http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/3258738

Image

Check it out!  =}

❤ all my “followers”!!!!  You guys are all awesome and make me feel sooooo LOVED!!!  =}  Thank you!!!!

**Follow me on FACEBOOK!!  Head on over and give me a ‘LIKE’!  =}  :   http://www.facebook.com/poet4life1

 

❤ Always

Poe

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